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Infidelity – The Start Of A Second Career

February 8th, 2010 by Linda | No Comments | Filed in Second Career or Volunteer

Finding a second career can happen when you least expect it.

Just fifty years ago, the most important job a woman could do was be a housewife and raise a family.  She took care of the inside of the house while her husband concerned himself with matters outside the house.  When matters “outside the house” meant other women, a wife only had to two choices; divorce or stay.  Divorce meant a stigma and usually a lifetime of hardship. stay meant keeping your mouth shut and trying to win him back by pleasing him as many ways as possible.

How far we have come.

Infidelity is nothing new in the world and, of course, is not limited to one gender.  Lately, several women have been the in news due to writing about their experience as the victim of infidelity.  Are they doing a service to other women or are they using their experience as an opportunity?

“Staying True” by Jennifer Sanford, wife the Governor of South Carolina Mark Sanford discusses her life choices and the drama of political life contributing to infidelity.

“Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage” by Dina Matos McGreevey who recollects about how a woman can be married to a man and not know he is gay.  How she can hold her head up and tell the story is explained in the book.

“Why I Stayed” by Gayle Haggard explains the heart-wrenching decision why a person would stay in a marriage so full of betrayal.  Not a popular decision, the book touches on community of family and is filled with forgiveness.

“Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life’s Adversities,” by Elizabeth Edwards. Although her book touches more on the death of her son and her cancer diagnosis, she speaks of resiliency and hope after the affair.

Once women had very little choices when they were faced with infidelity in the marriage.  But “these women have grown up in an entirely different age which gives them more choices about how to deal with an unfaithful husband,” stated CNN senior political correspondent Candy Crowley.  They have choices and have chosen to use their experience for something positive.  Whether the positive is to share a story to help others or purely for personal gain does not really matter -a second career has begun.

No need to spend much money on advertising and promoting your book, the gossip pool does it all for you.

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Second Career -”Because I’m Worth It”

February 5th, 2010 by Linda | No Comments | Filed in Second Career or Volunteer
Facebook, Inc.
Image via Wikipedia

There has been a lot of rattle over the internet about how hard it is getting a job if you are over 50. I suppose it’s true. Most hiring managers seem like they are twenty years younger. They look at us like we are so out of touch of the real world, don’t know what twitter is and are to old to play on the company softball league.

Well, first of all, I don’t want to play on your softball team because I have better things to do with my spare time. Second, I probablyhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/06/Facebook.svg/75px-Facebook.svg.png have more friends on twitter than you – as well as facebook for that matter. Third, what exactly is the real word anyway? Burning bras or video games? Who really knows.

In 1973, Ilon Specht created an ad for L’Oreal. She was a typical 23 year old, a baby boomer involved in a new era of change for women in America. Remember it well. We burned our bras -boy do we need them now. We wanted equal pay for the same work. We wanted it all.

Preference by L’Oreal – “Because I’M Worth It”

The saying went viral -We knew it then and we know it now.

I am experienced and therefore more efficient now. I have knowledge from living longer that a younger person cannot possibly know. I have networked with many people from all walks of life and every way possible, and not just through the internet. I don’t just want a job, I want to feel like I am contributing to something greater than myself. That is why I am the best person for the job. Yes, I would require more money, but that’s “because I’m worth it”.

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Managing Finances Without a Job -What Now?

January 26th, 2010 by Linda | No Comments | Filed in Second Career or Volunteer

personal budget

The scary part of losing my job is not knowing what kind of income I will be getting for the next few months. Since I didn’t plan of this happening, I certainly was not ready for the fact that I would not have an income.

I believe it is important to keep a clear head because many emotions can get in the way at this time. Anger, resentment or depression may cloud any decisions I will make for my future. I also need to know where I stand financially and I can’t figure that out if I am obsessing over a loss of a job.

So today, I look at my finances to see where I am and then I can decide where I go from here. Since I need to look at the numbers realistically and assess my situation I downloaded a free budget calculator I found on the internet.

Managing Finances without a job

I inserted my ‘new’ monthly income, daily expenses and all my bills for the month. Since It has taken the stress out of wondering how I will live on what I will be bring in for the next few months. Seeing the big picture with is easier than just looking at numbers.

I used this software with the intention of only using it to assess my finances. But now that I see where I am at i think I will keep using using it as a tool for budgeting and calculating my net worth every quarter.

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Lost My Job

January 25th, 2010 by Linda | No Comments | Filed in Second Career or Volunteer

lost my job
I have lost my job.  As soon as I tell anyone, the first thing they ask is, “What are you going to do now?”

I didn’t lose my job because of anything bad I did.  Of course the current economic situation was the main reason, the company needed to downsize.  But, you could also say I lost my job because I have ethics – remember Enron(need I say more).  What I am not going to do is do something I firmly do not believe is right.

You just need to look at past history to realize that when you conform to others and it isn’t what you truly believe in, you can set yourself up to be kicked in the butt.

Remember Nixon’s wage and price freeze of the early 1970’s?  He did not believe in price/wage controls, but, to save his job as President, he enforced the wage and price freeze of 1971, (Economic Stabilization Program of 1971–1974) in an effort to deal with inflation.  The public loved the fact that the government was coming to its rescue and Nixon won the next Presidential election in 1972.  Of course, within several months, inflation spiraled upward, proving he should have stuck to his original beliefs instead of acting like a ‘yes’ man.

In the early 1970’s, as Baby boomers we wanted to change America and challenged the attitudes and prejudices of our own parents’ generation.  I am still doing that.  So I lost my job, but I still have my principles -some could argue which is more important.

But I do have faith because….

Where I find myself now does not have to be a prediction of where I am going.

So stay tuned

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Consider A Bridge Job

October 1st, 2007 by Linda | 3 Comments | Filed in Second Career or Volunteer

bridge job[tag-tec]Baby boomers[/tag-tec] have a different mentality about retirement. They want to retire on their own terms and sometimes that means easing into [tag-tec]retirement[/tag-tec] by working part time or working only part of the year. The transition is easier than finding yourself gainfully employed and active one day and the next retired and wondering how to fill all the hours in a day.

Thank goodness some companies are finally recognizing this trend and see how they can profit from this. The result – If you want to ease into retirement consider a bridge job. A bridge job follows a full- time career and is either part time or lasts less than 10 years, or is both.

Many companies are finally getting smart and offering this flexibility to older workers. (more…)

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The Farmer And The Cow

August 26th, 2007 by Linda | No Comments | Filed in Second Career or Volunteer

why you should never get a job

has a blog called personal development for smart people. I love the way he writes but don’t always agree with what he says.

One of his posts called “10 Reasons You Should Never Get A Job” really gave me quite a chuckle and I really must comment on his number 3 reason:

3. Lifelong domestication.

Getting a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program. You learn how to be a good pet……

How’s your obedience training coming along? Does your master reward your good behavior? Do you get disciplined if you fail to obey your master’s commands?

Is there any spark of free will left inside you? ……… You poor thing…

I have a job and I have a boss. I have to agree with Steve when he says having a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program. Reading his post reminded me of a conversation I had with “my Boss Bob”.

This was a conversation which I knew was coming.

We were in our weekly meeting when it happened. (more…)

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